Not Yet A Winner
by lindseyl0ve
Summary: 'It's not fair that my friends get to eat whatever they want and not have to worry about the consequences. I want to be able to eat what I want and still stay skinny.' A Kames three-shot.
1. Disgusting

"Remember when you always told me not to be afraid?" Kendall asked the beautiful brunette, his head in the brunette's lap.

The hazel eyed boy gave a small chuckle and nodded his head slowly, "Of course I remember. Why do you ask?" James, the brunette, asked looking down at the blond in his lap, in reply.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm not afraid anymore. I haven't been. Because of you. You saved me." The two boys stared at each other and shared a sweet smile.

-Months Earlier-

'_Why did my grandma have to buy me this stupid journal for my birthday? I'm a seventeen year old boy, not a twelve year old girl. Maybe she got my birthday present mixed up with Katie's so she sent me this on accident. Ugh, it's still stupid. I'm never even going to use this, might as well just give it to Katie.' _Kendall thought to himself looking at the journal his grandmother had sent to him for his birthday. The blond rolled his eyes and he threw the black leather bound book onto his bed with the other gifs he had received for his birthday.

"Kendall, bro. It's girl time, are you coming?" A tall brunette asked from Kendall's open door way.

"Not right now, you guys go with out me. I'll meet up with you." The blond replied to his friend, James, with a small smile.

The brunette scoffed with a smirk and commented, "Alright dude, your loss." Kendall gave him a smirk in return.

Kendall didn't feel like going down to the pool to try and pick up chicks. It wasn't that he wasn't exactly in the mood, or that he didn't want to spend time with his friends, he just… didn't much like chicks, and his friends knew that. He found it slightly funny that James has obviously forgotten that fact about sat on his bed and looked down at his thighs.

'_Ugh, my thighs are disgusting. It's probably from that cake I had earlier. I'm surprised I don't have cottage cheese thighs. Disgusting. And it doesn't help that I haven't been exercising.'_ The blond thought, quickly remembering his exercise routine: one hundred jumping jacks, ninety crunches, eighty squats, seventy left lifts, sixty jumping jacks, fifty crunches, forty squats, thirty left lifts, twenty jumping jacks, followed by ten minutes of running. Kendall didn't remember the day he started feeling disgusted about his body, but he remembers that it's been going on for a while. He stood up, lifting his shirt, and poked at his stomach thinking of how flabby it looked. He pinched some skin and wanted to vomit from how fat it looked to him. And that's exactly what he did.

Kendall stuck his head out of his bedroom door to make sure no one was home. When he was sure, he made his way to the bathroom. The blond knelt down by the toilet, grabbed his handy dandy tooth brush, and started purging. '_I'm not yet a winner. I could be thinner. So, I must throw up dinner.'_ Kendall kept repeating to himself in his head. Kendall didn't make himself purge often, but when he did he made it count. He continued until there was nothing left coming up except for his stomach acid. He sometimes even continued until not even stomach acid would come up and he would be violently dry heaving, thinking that it added extra pounds that he didn't need. The blond flushed the toilet repeatedly making sure everything went down, washed off his toothbrush, and brushed his teeth. He always made sure to brush after purging, since the acids from doing so erodes the teeth. And you can't sing in a boy band with fucked up teeth. He also checked his weight before he left. 120 pounds, thirty pounds less than what he weighed six months ago when his eating disorder began.

'_God, could I be any fatter?' _Kendall thought to himself. He slammed the bathroom door shut on his way out in anger.

When the blond left the bathroom he went back up to his room to put on his swimming trunks and tank top to join his friends, figuring it was better than sitting in the empty apartment alone.

"Kendall! What took you so long buddy?" An ecstatic looking brunette asked him from a pool side chair when he noticed his friend emerging out of the Palmwoods lobby and into the pool area.

Kendall smiled at his dear friend Logan and took a chair next to him. "I got a call from my uncle and had to talk to him. But fear not, for I am here now. What have I missed?" He asked.

"Well nothing except the usual of course. Carlos has injured himself countless times and James is getting all the ladies." Logan replied with a smirk. Kendall squirmed in his seat when Logan mentioned James, luckily his friend did not notice.

"That really doesn't surprise me." The blond smirked looking at his friends. James was sitting on a bench with a group of girls surrounding him while Carlos was trying to shove his way through the crowd to sit next to his friend., in hopes of being noticed by one of the countless girls.

Logan looked at his blond friend, "Why don't you take your shirt off? It's almost a hundred degrees outside. I'd be dying if I were wearing a shirt."

'_I can't just take my shirt off Logan, I'm disgusting. Everyone would be horrified with how grotesque I am.' _"Not really that hot, I guess." Kendall replied nonchalantly with a shrug.

James caught Kendall in his peripheral vision and he couldn't help but think of how thin his friend had become over the past few months. He was much thinner than he was when they first moved to L.A., that was for sure. He now seemed to just be skin and bones with barely any muscle definition even though his friend worked out almost everyday. The tall brunette really thought nothing of it, thinking it was just the stress of L.A. and being in Big Time Rush, and went back to talk to all the beautiful girls that surrounded him.

"Kendall, I made cheese cake. Would you like any honey?" Mrs. Knight asked her son from the kitchen.

'_It's like she's trying to make me fat.'_ Kendall thought to himself before answering his mother.

"No thanks Mom, I'm still full from that delicious birthday cake that you made earlier!" He replied from the couch where he was whooping Carlos' butt in a video game. '_That cake was disgusting… Calories that I didn't need to add on to all the fat in my body.'_ All of his friends were chowing down on Mrs. Knight infamously delicious cheese cake. _'It's not fair that my friends get to eat whatever they want and not have to worry about the consequences. I want to be able to eat what I want and still stay skinny.'_

James looked at his friend with a questioning look. "Dude, you seriously cannot still be full from that cake earlier. You had the tiniest slice and it was over five hours ago. And besides, this cheese cake is delicious, you know that. Why don't you have some?" He asked.

'_Because it will just make me even more disgusting and fatter than I already am. God, are you people working against me or something?'_

"I don't know, I'm just now hungry. I'll probably have some later though." The blond replied to his friend with a smile. _'And then throw it up because I'm weak and have no will power.'_ The brunette took the answer and shrugged, taking another bite of his cheese cake. James found it weird that Kendall didn't want any of his mom's cheese cake, considering he was normally the one to devour the whole thing in a matter of minutes. He decided he would talk to Kendall about it later, if he remembered that is.

"Oh, bam! Four times in a row! Are you sure you want to keep playing until you win Carlos, that may take aaaallll night." Kendall gloated to his shorter friend with a smirk. Carlos sighed angrily and took a harder grab of his controller.

"You're going down Knight, no matter how long it takes!" Carlos shouted starting another game. Logan looked at his two friends and rolled his eyes. He never much understood how they could get so competitive over a game.

Kendall laughed at Carlos's comment. "Okay, okay. One more game and then I'm going to head up to bed, I'm exhausted." All Carlos did was nod in agreement, getting way too into the game to even care what his friend was actually saying.

After the game finished Kendall handed his controller over to James, told him to keep his winning streak up or there would be consequences, and headed to bed after saying goodnight to everyone and giving his mom a hug and thank you for his birthday party. He was completely exhausted. The past few months the green eyed boy felt like he had no energy in him at all. He barely had enough energy to make it through practicing songs with Gustavo or through school. The blond was also getting blinding headaches, in addition to his exhaustion. Kendall made his way to his bed, which he had cleaned off earlier of his presents, and collapsed. It took him a few minutes to realize that he protruding shoulder blade was resting on the journal his grandmother had given him.

'_Ugh, this stupid thing. Well… I don't know… Maybe I could try writing things down in this -No, that's stupid. I'm not a girl.. Then again, I may end up being able to make some awesome songs from the things I write in here. Isn't that how most artists write songs? They keep a journal and write down their feelings and then end up making hit records from it? Or maybe I can write about being fat and gross and how much I eat. Then I can look back the following day and decide how little I need to eat then… Mmm… Let's try this out. I mean, what have I got to lose?'_ Kendall finally decided to himself, thinking it was worth a shot, after pulling the book from under him and examining it. It was plain black, no designs, no words, perfect. Completely unscathed by anything that would make it imperfect. Completely unlike Kendall.

He grabbed a pen from his bed side table, opened the book, and started a journal entry:

"_Day 1 (I guess):_

_Today was my birthday… I turned seventeen. My gran-gran got me this book. I don't really know what to write, I've never had a journal, because y'know.. I'm not a girl… Anyway- I've decided to write about how disgusting and fat I am. This is basically going to be me writing how disgusted I am with myself and then what I eat in a day. That way I can look back and see how little I have to eat the following day. Here goes. Today was better than most days. I didn't feel as gross as I normally do. Still felt like a disgusting fuck, but not as bad as normally. I only purged once. Not the normal three times, after each meal. Than again, today I only ate a granola bar in the morning and a piece of cake this afternoon. For my birthday and what not. So that means tomorrow I have to eat less than a granola bar and piece of cake. I'm still horrendously fat tho. When I sit down I have so many stomach rolls I could pass for a Pug and my thighs are about the size of tree trunks. I'm like fucking Shamoo the whale. Why do I have to be fat? I've barely eaten in months, why aren't I skinny yet? I just want to be perfect. Like James or Logan or Carlos. They all have perfect bodies. While I sit in my fat corner being the fat friend."_

_Kendall slammed the book shut, angry at himself. Angry for letting himself go so badly. Angry for not getting his weight under control before it got out of hand, like it is now._

_The green eyed boy got himself in bed and went to sleep in the worst mood he had been in in days. _


	2. Useless

"Please tell me again why we're playing party games when there isn't a party." Logan asked as he sat back down on the living room floor after getting up to get a drink of soda.

Carlos rolled his eyes for what could have been the hundredth time. "Because! Party games are fun and we can't exactly have a party. Do you remember what happened last time we tried to have a party?" James smiled thoughtfully at being the Super Party Party Kings of Hollywood not long ago. "And besides you know that there's some important shoot going on down at the pool and Bitters won't let us out there. So for now we are stuck in the apartment, playing party games." The brunette replied. Logan shrugged his shoulders and nodded in agreement, almost shocked at his friends reasoning.

"Now, James! Truth or dare?" Carlos asked his tall friend.

James sat silently for a few seconds, thinking of what harm his friend could do with either option. "Truth." He finally decided. Carlos let out a 'Aw, way to be a sissy' kind of sigh.

"Why don't you ever go on dates with the millions of girls who ask you out?" Carlos asked him quickly, as if he had been wondering for years and this was finally his opportunity to ask without seeming creepy or weird.

The hazel eyed brunette blushed more than he normally did. "I uh… Don't really like any of the girls that ask me out in that way." He responded. All of his friends stared at him as though he had formed a third eye on his forehead.

"But they're gorgeous! If you don't want to date them, you can send them over my way." Carlos stated with a hopeful smile on his face.

"I'll uh.. Be sure to do that, next time." James smirked, still blushing.

Kendall stared at his friend. _"Why did he blush? That's not an embarrassing question. Well… I guess for James it kind of is embarrassing. He's the pretty one, the one that gets all the girls…. Ugh, I have such a bad headache. I don't think I can sit here any longer…"_

Kendall stood up, feeling weak. "I'm going to go lay down, I don't feel very good." He said feeling as though he was going to black out. He had been feeling off balance all day, probably from not eating at all. His friends told him to start feeling better so that he could join them again later that night. The tall blond slowly made his way up to his shared bedroom with a nod directed towards his friends and lied down on his twin sized bed. He figured that this would be a good time to write in his journal, since he wasn't yet tired enough to sleep, but he didn't have enough energy to be socializing with anyone.

"_Day 2:_

_I'm honestly surprised that no one has asked me about my eating habits. I haven't eaten at all today and no one has said a thing. Not even my mom. I guess that all believed me when I said that I was feeling sick and didn't want to eat. I didn't know I was that good of a liar. Or they just don't care about me anymore. I wouldn't care about me anymore. Anyway. I feel worse than yesterday, but I toughed it out. No one said a thing. I think I'm getting bigger, which really pisses me off. I thought I had been doing so good, and then I look in the mirror and I'm the size of a boat. Also, have I mentioned that I think I'm in love? With my best friend? He doesn't like guys tho, so I'm shit out of luck again. And you know, he's gorgeous. I'm disgusting. He's tall, tan, has perfectly styled hair. I'm short, pale, and most definitely need a haircut. Man, life is really fucking awesome. Ugh. I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. I hate that I can't do anything right. I'm useless. I'm pretty much a useless waste of space. Cool."_

_Kendall had been feeling down on himself for about the past year and a half. It all started when he got into a car accident with his younger sister Katie in the passenger seat and she ended up having three broken ribs and a fractured collar bone. After that he started feeling like he was worthless, like everything he did was a mistake. He never forgave himself. He felt it was his fault. He wasn't paying attention to the road, he was too busy singing to Katie, trying to cheer her up after a bad day at school. Katie forgives him, but he felt like he couldn't forgive himself. He was her big brother, he was supposed to protect her from harm. Not put her in harm's way the way he did. _

_A few weeks passed before Kendall and James spent the day hanging out in apartment 2J alone together. Mama Knight and Katie had a movie date with each other, and Logan and Carlos were at an arcade downtown._

_James was feeling nervous all day, he had something important to tell Kendall. James wanted to ask Kendall why he was getting skinnier and skinnier, but again, concluded that it was probably stress. And besides, Kendall seemed to be eating better, to James at least. Little did the brunette know, the blond was actually getting worse with every passing day. _

"_Kendall, I have something to tell you." The hazel eyed boy blurted out while they were watching Hot Rod together. It was their favorite movie, they knew all the lines by heart. Whenever the two hung out together they watched it and recited all the lines._

"_What's up, man?" Kendall asked his friend. The blond thought it was weird that his friend seemed to be hesitant about telling him something. They were practically brothers, they always told each other everything. There was no reason for his friend to be nervous about telling him something._

"_I uh… I may sorta kinda like…" Before James could finish Kendall thought of all the things he could say. His mind went to the worst possible assumption, which wasn't him. ", guys." James finished, nervous as he had ever been. Kendall's green eyes grew to the size of plates. He never expected in a million years his best friend to say something like that. James seemed like the straightest guy he knew._

_Kendall took a breath before saying anything, trying to calm himself and the headache that felt as though it was raging a war on his brain. "W-why would you be nervous to tell me something like that? I wasn't nervous when I told you and everyone that I was gay. It really isn't a big deal, I knew you guys would support and love me no matter what my sexual orientation. You should know that we'd do the same for you…" He stated, feeling extremely light. Almost as though he wasn't even in his own body. Not eating that day or yesterday, or the countless days before that, was finally taking effect on his body._

"_Well, I'm the one basically expected to like girls, because of how pretty I am. I'm always called the ladies man, when I really am not. I mean, I haven't been for a while. I thought I was, but I'm really not. I actually kinda figured this all out a few months ago. And I can't really hide it anymore, I had to tell someone! And I knew you of all people would understand. I'm not really sure if I'm ready to tell anyone else yet, you know? And I wasn't afraid that you or any of the guys or Katie or your mom wouldn't accept me, I just didn't want to deal with any of the questions that they would ask. I mean, I knew you guys would accept me, I just… I don't know. I didn't want to disappoint anyone. This all sounds really stupid, I know, but…" James rambled on quickly. He wanted to get it over with fast, like ripping off a band aid. _

_Kendall tried nodding in agreement. He was hearing everything James was saying, but it didn't actually register in his brain. He wanted to tell his friend that it wasn't stupid, and he was glad that he could trust him with something like this, but nothing came out of his mouth. The blond stood up, headed to the kitchen to get pain killers for his headache. A few seconds after he stood, he stumbled, blacked out, and collapsed unconscious. _

_Luckily for Kendall, James caught him just before he could hit the ground. And luckily for the panicking James, unsure of what to do, Mrs. Knight and Katie walked in the door seconds after Kendall fell. _

"_What's wrong?" Mrs. Knight shouted rushing over to her fallen son._

"_I don't know! I was talking to him about something and he stood up and then just fell!" James replied anxiously, he feared for his friend. _

"_Oh God, okay. Uhm.. Set him down on the floor and I'll get a pillow for his head." The frantic Mrs. Knight ordered grabbing a pillow from the couch. James did as his friend's mother said and then hastily texted Logan and Carlos, telling them what had happened. Under the orders of Dr. Mitchell they immediately rushed him to the hospital, which Mrs. Knight had already planned on doing. Thankfully Kendall gained consciousness in the car on the way to the hospital and tried to refuse to go._

"_Where am I?" The boy asked weakly._

"_You're in the car on the way to the hospital, you blacked out." Mrs. Knight responded from the driver's seat, a crying Katie next to her in the passenger seat._

"_You're just going to waste money going there. I'm fine, nothing's wrong." The blond tried shouting at his mother who was driving._

"_Kendall, you're going. End of discussion." His mother retorted angrily._

"_Kendall, you aren't fine. Have you not seen yourself? You look pale and sickly all the time, and I haven't seen you eating lately. Something is wrong, we're going to the hospital and you're going to be okay after that." James anxiously tried comforting his friend. Kendall was lied down in the back seat with his head in James's lap._

"_But I'm scared, I don't like hospitals, you know this. I hate them! Besides, I'm fine, let's just go back home. I'll be fine there. Nothing is wrong, Logan can pretend to be a doctor. It'll be good practice!" Kendall tried pleading with his friend with tears welling up in his eyes. He truly was afraid of hospitals. And he truly did not want his family finding out his dark secret._

"_Kenny, there's nothing to be scared of. Don't be afraid, I'll be there. I'll be there every step of the way, bud. Don't be afraid." The brunette reassured his friend who was feeling too weak to argue anymore._


	3. Fearless

Because of Mrs. Knight's speeding, the four got to the hospital in what seemed to be a matter of minutes. Kendall was looking sicker by the minute, so he was quickly admitted and hooked up to all sorts of machines.

Not long after James, Mrs. Knight, and Katie meeting up with Logan and Carlos in the waiting room, the doctor come out.

"Mrs. Knight, did you know that Kendall is severely malnourished? It looks as though he hasn't eaten in months and he has acid erosion on his molars, which is a sign of constant purging. Your son has straight out of the book symptoms of bulimia and anorexia." The doctor stated.

Mrs. Knight started crying, not able to hold back her tears any longer. "Oh my God, how could I have not noticed? I knew he was looking thinner, but I thought it was just because of how exhausted he was from practicing all the time. I can't believe I've let this happen to my son!" Carlos quickly made his way over to Mrs. Knight, giving her a comforting hug, trying to tell her that it wasn't her fault, none of them knew.

James quickly made his way from the waiting room bench over to the doctor, noticeable fear in his eyes. "Will Kendall be okay? Can we go see him?" He asked anxiously. He knew something was up with Kendall, he just didn't think it was as serious as anorexia and bulimia. Why would Kendall even be anorexic or bulimic? James thought he had no reason to feel so insecure about himself. He was a gorgeous guy, he had an amazing body, everyone looked up to him, everyone loved him. It just didn't make sense to the hazel eyed boy.

"Kendall will be fine. But we want to keep him for a few days to monitor him. And yes, you may go see him. But only one person at a time, please. We don't want him to become anymore exhausted than he already is." The doctor replied before walking away.

The boys decided that Mrs. Knight and Katie would go in first. They didn't care if the doctor said one person at a time, they were going in together. Then James would go in, with Carlos following behind him, and lastly Logan.

James quietly made his way over to Kendall's bed, he was looking slightly better. Not as pale. Even though the blond was awake, his friend was afraid to disturb him.

James had so many things to ask him, but he felt it was best to wait until after Kendall was feeling better to harass him with his questions."How are you feeling?" The brunette asked.

His friend sighed. "Better than before…" He replied weakly. James stared into Kendall's emerald green eyes, they looked so empty. Like it wasn't Kendall behind them. Just an empty shell of what Kendall once was. James didn't know what to say after that. The hazel eyed boy made his way over to Kendall's bed and sat down next to him.

"You seriously had me scared there. I thought something was horribly wrong and I was going to lose you or something, I'm not gonna lie." James commented sadly.

Kendall looked down in shame. "I'm sorry, it won't happen again…" _"Yes it will. You're going to say that you're getting better and than go home and do it again. You're going to gain so much weight in this fucking hospital that everyone will be disgusted with your new fat frame." _There was an awkward silence before James cleared his voice to speak to his friend again.

"Kendall… You do know that you're basically perfect, right?" James started, hoping that randomly blurting out his feelings would make his friend feel better. "I mean - to me at least. I don't understand what would compel you to do this, but.. I love you. You mean the world to me. You, Logan, Carlos, Mrs. Knight, Katie… If I didn't have you guys, I wouldn't be who I am today. And I don't want to lose any of you, nor do I want anything bad happening to any of you. Now, don't ever scare me like this again." James admitted, staring into Kendall's eyes.

"_Better prepare to be hurt again, James. I can't stand being fat. I'm going to keep starving myself until I'm perfect. But I promise you'll all love me even more when I am perfect." _

"Hey, what was that you told me in the car on the way here? Don't be scared, there's nothing to be afraid of, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." Kendall said with a weak smile on his face, trying to reassure his obviously scared friend. James would have normally been bothered with Kendall, always having to be the strongest one. Trying to hold everything together, even when he was in his weakest state. But at that moment James was just happy to his best friend's beautiful smile.

"Don't use my own words against me, Kenny." James smirked as he rolled his eyes. "I'm going to go and let Carlos and Logan visit, but don't think I wont' be back. I'm not going to take my eye off of you longer than I have to."

"Is that a promise?" Kendall joked with a smirk. James chuckled at the fact that his friend could still make jokes, even when he was in the state that he was, and gave him a wink before hugging him and existing his hospital room. James's feelings felt like a jumbled mess. He was happy that his best friend was getting help, and that he was smiling and making jokes. But he was still so distraught that his friend felt broken enough inside to harm his body in the way that he did.

It had been about a month since Kendall got out of the hospital and he was progressing with every passing day.

"_Day 37:_

_I'm doing better than yesterday. I still have an unhealthy relationship with food, but I'm working on it. Still going to therapy sessions. Finally figured out that I've been so depressed the past year because of the car accident that I got Katie involved in. I mean… That night still haunts me, but I never really thought that it would destroy me the way that it did. Things are also progressing with that straight but not so straight best friend. Every day he tells me that I'm beautiful and that there is nothing to be afraid of. Some days I don't believe him and some days I do, but I know he truly means it. I honestly don't think I'd be making as much progress as I am if it weren't for him. Logan, mom, Katie, and Carlos are helping as well. But not as much as James. Not as much as the perfect, hazel eyed love of my life. Love of my life? Is that accurate to say? Yeah, I'd say that's pretty accurate."_

"_Kendall, stop sitting in your room and come downstairs to hang out with me. I'm lonely." James jokingly said acting sad in the doorway of Kendall and Logan's shared room. Kendall gave his best friend a smile._

"_I'm coming." He stated. James held his hand out waiting for Kendall. The green eyed boy walked over to the tall brunette and grabbed his hand, allowing the taller boy to drag him downstairs. The two made their way down to the living room couch, where Hot Rod was playing on the television. The two sat in blissful silence watching the movie together._

"_Kendall?" James asked his friend as the blond put his head in James's lap. He always found it the most comfortable way to lay on the couch. _

"_Yes, James?" Kendall asked in reply in a sweet voice. James started running his fingers through his friend's soft dirty blond hair._

"_I uh…" James started, not sure of what he was actually doing. He had never been nervous to anyone how it felt before, this was new to him. _

"_Jamie, don't be nervous. I've already told you, you never have to be nervous when you talk to me." Kendall stated matter-of-factly._

_James sighed knowing and continued. "I love you."_

_Kendall looked taken aback for a second. "Well I love you too." The blond replied with a smile._

"_No… I mean, I really love you. I can't explain how much I love you. It's almost sickening. And I feel like a complete idiot for telling you -" James was interrupted by his friend. He was nervous that Kendall wasn't going to return his feelings. James was sure that Kendall could hear his heart beat, it felt as though it was going to beat right out of his chest._

"_And like I just said James, I love you too." Kendall interrupted James, blushing with a smile on his face. James's cheeked turned the color of a shiny red apple._

"_You do?…." James asked nervously._

"_Of course. I have for a while. But… I wasn't sure if you felt the same way. I mean, you could honestly have any guy you wanted, so I didn't think you would want plain old Kendall." Kendall replied with a sheepish smile on his face, blushing._

"_You aren't just plain old Kendall. You're Kendall Knight, my best friend, a doer not a thinker, famous for his ingenious schemes. I think the world of you. Don't ever call yourself plain old Kendall again." James retorted, slightly angered that his friend would think of himself to poorly._

"_Sorry…" Kendall replied quietly, thinking that James was mad at him._

"_So, Kendall Knight, will you be mine?" James asked him with a smile._

"_Yours and only yours." Kendall replied blushing. James grabbed a hold of Kendall's hand and intertwined his fingers with his best friends. _

"_James, remember when you always told me not to be afraid?" Kendall asked the beautiful brunette.._

_He gave a small chuckle and nodded his head slowly, "Of course I remember. Why do you ask?" James, the brunette, asked looking down at the blond in his lap in reply._

"_I just wanted to tell you that I'm not afraid anymore. I haven't been. Because of you. You saved me." The two boys stared at each other and shared a smile._


End file.
